Ezra is ONE

It’s so difficult to find “happy” on this birthday. We are wishing the Happiest of Birthdays to our sweet girl. The girl who made us parents. It is so sad, and joyful how you are 1. I wish so badly we could all be together to celebrate you, but from here we will celebrate you. I know Heaven is beaming with joy, and celebration. 

I often think how life has an order, me before you, and that just didn’t happen. I reflected back on how fast this year went. As painful as this journey always will be I will forever be wishing I could turn back time so we could have ONE more time together, ONE more moment. All of the ONE more’s, I will always be wishing for. 

I read something the other day from another loss mom page about Faith, and still honoring God even though he still takes babies. He does allow horrible things to happen, and he takes children. I do not believe the platitude of “he needed your child”. I do believe in His goodness. No matter what, he is good. He gave MY EZRA eternal life, because what he had done on that cross SHE won, and she gets to live in his presence always, and forever. She still and will always be a miracle for the gift of eternal life. How beautiful is that, and how my soul rests in that always. 

Sweet girl I hope you know how fiercely loved you are, and how desperately missed you are by your mom and dad. I hope you can always feel our love from here. I hope you know how much you mean to us, and the significance of your life does not go unnoticed. I hope you know how much you have taught us, especially how motherhood is. Never once did I think this was how we would parent, but it is. 

I know one day we will meet again, I can't wait for that day. Until then we will love you from here, and celebrate you from here. We will always miss you, but far more than that we will always love you. I am grateful we were chosen to be your parents, and I am humbled by that. To be your mommy is an honor, and a gift I don’t take lightly. I thank the Lord for entrusting me with her life until He called her home. I know your day is filled with a joy I could never fulfill, I know Heaven is beaming with all the joy, and I know it’s truly a beauty that I only wish I could see from here. So Sweet Ezra Happy Birthday, we love you always